It’s not the system. It’s not the kids. It’s the parents.

We really struggled with the choice between homeschooling Piers or not.  For me, it mosly came down to acknowledging my abject disorganization and chronic irresponsibility.  There’s just too much at stake and it would be far too easy for me to screw it all up, irreparably.  So I was comfortable to let the the ‘pros’ do the formal stuff and we could fill in the gaps or otherwise ‘tweak’ his learning as we go along. 

The choice has proved to be a good one, especially since Piers began French Immersion studies.  He’s sufficiently engaged, learning something we can’t give him at home (immersion French), and he’s making lots of friends (he even has a ‘girlfriend’!).  The Catholic system here in Thunder Bay is very well managed, classrooms put an emphasis on community and values, and parents are really involved.  The teachers (for the most part) are very good.  The kids are nice.  The parents, however…

Take our Christmas celebration at school, for example.  The kids sang some cute action songs for us in the library, followed by some fun dancing games with the parents, then a food craft in the classroom afterwards (marshmallow/pretzel snowflakes – fun).  Then we were to let the kids have their normal afternoon snack.

I wasn’t aware of it, but the unspoken rule among the parents (and there seems to be a lot of these) was for each to bring as much over-processed sugary/fatty/salty CRAP as he or she could manage without falling over.  Massive store-bought cupcakes with (literally) inches of icing, bags of chips, huge cakes, pop, candy and on, and on…  No planning, no forewarning – just a lot of crap and not a speck of anything resembling… edible.  For a sense of scale, imagine that one of the parents (feeling celebratory and generous) brought enough crap to adequately feed the whole class.  Now multiply that by twenty.  The sheer glut was beyond my comprehension, as was the inevitable waste.

What’s just as bad (in my mind) was that the teacher did not ask for this ‘contribution’, and so was not expecting it.  [sarcasm] Why wouldn’t an educator mind if an entire class of five year olds crammed as much sugar and starch into their gullets as quickly as physically possible (as five year olds must do with such things) immediately before resuming the afternoon’s learning? [/sarcasm]

So, with Valentine’s Day being the next big school event, a note cleverly came home allowing the ‘students’ to bring (and I’m quoting from the note here) “a healthy snack such as fruit, vegetables, cheese, crackers or sandwiches that can be shared.  Juice will be provided.”  Parents being human, half of them listened and brought raw veggies and (real) cheese, fruit trays, popcorn… good listeners.  The other half brought massive store-bought cupcakes with (literally) inches of icing, bags of chips, huge cakes, candy, and on, and on… bad listeners.  Overall, a step in the right direction, true, but you hopefully will understand if  I feel deeply irritated if I hear one of these ‘bad listener’ parents complain about how their own kids don’t listen.  And you can guess which ‘foods’ the kids crammed in.

[When did I get so intolerant?]

But the scale did not diminish.  I brought a two clamshells of strawberries (being Valentine’s day and all…and they were on sale) sure that it would be enough when added to the other things brought by other parents, and I came home with one full clamshell.  I saw a few parents bring one of something for each kid in the class, which was pretty clever.  The rest brought gallons of stuff.  I’m unsure of the thought process that would result in a choice to bring so much food for so few little kids.   Even if it is the good stuff, it’s still waste.  After the kids left for the library, I actually fell into kind of a trance while scanning the leftovers. I suppose I fell into the rift of conscience between celebrating abundance and mourning waste.  I resisted the urge to take pictures of the empty tables overflowing with perfectly good (and bad) food that was passed over or left unfinished.  I also resisted the urge to say something, or even suggest what to do with this food (um… Shelter House?  Food Bank?)

I’m afraid of what the lesson the kids get from this.  I wonder if the ‘worst’ of these parents simply don’t realize that learning doesn’t just happen in school or in other formalized environments.  Maybe for Easter (for there’s sure to be a problem there too) I’ll have Piers put an Adbuster in each kid’s backpack.

[When did I get so right all the time?]

It's okay honey - we'll just throw the rest away.

4 Responses to It’s not the system. It’s not the kids. It’s the parents.

  1. st4rbux says:

    [When did I get so right all the time?]

    I think this kicks in whenever someone starts blogging. If you’re luckier (smarter) than me, you’ll contain yourself before you alienate family. Let’s just say 2006 was one awkward Christmas.

  2. suzanne says:

    oh i hear you brother … you know i am a grocery chart judger though i am ashamed of it
    (usually)
    uhh .. as i looked at the picture of party you included, i wondered if there’s a relationship between what was contributed and the size of the butt of the contributor?

  3. Paul Acree says:

    We don’t license parents. Given how important the task is, maybe we should (I obviously won’t ever be running for office). Perhaps, though, we ought to require highschool students ( maybe even junior high students?) to attend a semester on parenting. You know, so while they’re busy learning all about how to take their place in the corporate machine they just might learn something about raising the generations to follow besides to teach them “Get rich or die trying.”
    What does this have to do with nutrition? Nothing. 😛

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